Lost But Not Forgotten
by Black Ripple
Summary: ALL HUMAN, AU. 6 years ago Bella ran away from home after a terrible ordeal that left her broken and miserable. After months of heartache she changed her lifestyle and became a practically new person. But what happens when Bella’s past catches up with her
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Lost But Not Forgotten

**Author:** Black Ripple

**Rating:** R

**Summary:** ALL HUMAN, AU. 6 years ago Bella ran away from home. She changed her lifestyle and became a practically new person. But what happens when Bella's past catches up with her?

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**_FLASHBACK_**

_I was not a cool kid. I had no sense of fashion, no particular taste in popular music and I expressed no interest in letting cute guys molest me. For that I was dubbed seriously uncool. To be honest, though, it didn't really bother me. Yes, it would have been nice to be invited to all the popular parties instead of spending my Friday evenings at the library. Ok…who was I kidding; of course it bothered me. But hey, what are you gonna do? It was my final year of high school and I figured that after this year was over and done with I'd have a chance for a fresh start. A chance to reinvent myself into who I wanted to be._

_I sighed as I bit into my juicy red apple. I was sat all alone in the cafeteria, again. I preferred it this way; sat by the window I could simply lose myself in my thoughts of what my life would be like once I got to Harvard._

_I was going to be a lawyer. I'd spent my entire high school education planning for this moment. I'd gone through my whole school life being ridiculed for being smart and for studying too hard. I could not _wait_ to get to an institution where cleverness was praised._

"_Hello."_

_I was knocked out of my reverie by a quiet musical voice._

_I looked up into the eyes of none other than Edward Cullen – probably the most popular guy in school. And of course the most gorgeous. In that instant my brain turned to mush._

_I'd harboured a serious crush on Edward Cullen ever since he and his family had moved to Forks, back when I was in the 7__th__ grade. I'll never forget how he and his siblings had fit right in after one day. I'll never forget my jealousy that they had succeeded where I had not – nor the sadness that they had dismissed me as easily as everyone else had._

_I remember seeing him for the first time and feeling giddy and high as he introduced himself to the class. That feeling, although dimmed as I barely ever saw him, had not left me._

"_Um…are you ok?"_

_It was then that I realised that I'd been staring at him for some time with my mouth open. I snapped my teeth together with an audible click and felt the beginnings of a blush light my cheeks._

"_F-fine," I muttered._

_He smirked the crooked smile that made my insides melt._

"_So, I was wondering," he began pulling out the chair opposite me and sitting. I felt my heart speed up. What was he doing?! Nobody sat with me! Especially not gorgeous, popular guys like Edward freaking Cullen! _

_I raised my eyebrows at him when he didn't continue. He smirked at me and I felt my top lip begin to tremble. I bit the corner of it quickly, trying to stifle the action, but I'm almost certain he caught it. His eyes were highly amused. _

"_Are you busy this Friday?"_

_I frowned. Did he want tutoring? _

"_I'm already tutoring 4 other people, I'm not sure I've-"_

_He cut me off with an elegant musical laugh that made my stomach clench painfully._

"_Silly Bella," my heart raced when he uttered my name. ohmygodohmygodohmygod. "I'm asking you if you'd like to go out on a date with me."_

"_Oh."_

_I think by this point I had lost the ability to form coherent sentences. My mouth was opening and closing like a fish out of water. The only thing going through my head was a little banner saying "Fuck!"_

"_I'm taking your stunned silence to be a good thing," Edward practically laughed out loud._

_I nodded my head slowly. I didn't trust myself to speak._

"_Excellent. I'll pick you up 'bout 7.30."_

_And before I knew it Edward had vanished. _

_I sat slumped in my seat, trying to get control of my breathing._

_Edward Cullen had just asked me out. _Me_. The most unpopular girl in school._

_I remained rooted to my seat for the rest of lunch, flustered beyond belief. Had I turned in my seat I probably would have noticed the incredulous stares of almost every student in the cafeteria. As it was, I didn't see them, nor did I see the smirks and smug grins plastered across 5 faces._

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AN: So there it is…what did you think? Very short I know. Updates will depend on reviews….so if you want more tell me so! xxx


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks to all who reviewed and favourited! In terms of this chapter, I know it might seem confusing, but all will be revealed within the next couple of chapters.**

**Warning: Brief sexually explicit themes**

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The alarm beeped insistently and I groaned reaching over to slap it off. Rolling onto my stomach I pulled the cover over my head and sighed contentedly into my warm nest.

However, the movement of the bed springs beside me had me lowering the covers instantly. I cracked an eyelid and stared at the man next to me blearily.

"Who are you?" I grunted, not bothering to move from my comfortable position.

"I'm Jerry…" he said as though that answered everything. When I just looked at him he flushed angrily. "We had sex last night…four times?"

He was a fairly attractive man, I noted with a smirk. His golden blonde hair was messy and screamed sex and he had some serious stubble going on. I liked the just-shagged look; it made my feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I almost chortled to myself at that thought.

"Four times," I practically purred, sarcasm dripping from my tongue like acid. "Aren't we the little trooper."

Jerry's ears flushed and I had to stifle a cruel chuckle.

"So what are you still doing here, trooper?" I continued when Jerry stayed silent

"What?" He appeared shocked. "We had sex-"

I sighed and reached over onto the nightstand, grabbing my cigarettes and lighter. It was going to be one of those mornings, I could tell.

"Yes darling," I took a long drag of my cigarette. "We've already covered this. What I want to know is why you're still in my bed. Hmmm?" I eyed him mockingly. His eyes were wide and his jaw slack. He opened and closed his mouth for a while as I continued to puff.

After a while Jerry seemed to realise that this wasn't some elaborate hoax and I was actually being serious.

"You want me to leave?" Jerry said, slowly.

"Yes." I replied even slower, as though Jerry were being exceptionally dim.

It seemed however, that Jerry had got the message.

He muttered something that sounded a lot like 'clucking witch' and clambered out of bed, retrieving his clothes from where they were scattered about the room.

I simply lay back and enjoyed the free show.

"Oh, take your time," I trilled. "The view from here is _wonderful_!"

Life was good.

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Arriving in work, later that morning I was pleased to find a steaming cup of coffee sat in the middle of my desk. I smirked as I removed my jacket and hung it on the elegant coat stand in the corner of my office.

It seemed James from Human resources was eager to get in my pants…again. I chuckled lightly to myself as I sipped slowly on the hot coffee, savouring the bitter taste with relish.

James had been a project for me. When I had first started working at Jenkins & Wyatt Publishers James had been stiff and inapproachable. I had instantly noted his toned body and gorgeous features and determined to get him into bed. However, it had not been an easy task. James had seemed barely interested at all. It had taken all of my cunning and sexual prowess in order to seduce James. But oh my goodness had it been worth it.

I bit my lip as I remembered the last time James and I had had sex. It had been in a cubicle of the men's toilets three floors below my office. It had been dirty and we had been in danger of being caught. But it was so hot; I had come about three times. Just remembering the feeling of James' cock pussy in my and I felt the dampness seep into my panties.

I was pulled from my fantasy however when my phone trilled, signalling my secretary was calling through.

I picked it up and leaned back in my chair.

"What is it Mary?"

"Your ten am is here, Ms Bennett," Mary chirped. Eugh. She was far too chipper for this hour.

I repressed a sigh. Lauren Mallory was a client who had just released the second book in her vampire romance series. Only problem was, she was an annoying bint and her books sucked. But considering she was my client, it was my job to ensure that her books became best sellers. Oh the irony.

"Ok, give me a few minutes then send her through." I plonked the phone back in its cradle and went about switching on my laptop and bringing up the necessary files.

I had just settled back in my chair when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Mary opened the door with a cautious smile in my direction and ushered a petit blonde into the room.

"Thank you Mary," I said as she bowed out of the room

"Ms Bennett! So nice to see you again," Lauren Mallory all but squealed. I fought the urge to grimace. I could feel the need for a cigarette.

"Same to you Lauren," I said shaking her hand and urging her into the chair across my desk.

"So…" I said after a moment. "We're all set to go for tomorrow. I've been down to Borders and it all looks fantastic. They've had the decorations set up for the last week-"

"Oh, I'm so excited!" Lauren squealed, clapping her hands with glee. It was Lauren's first book signing and she was blowing it way out of proportion in terms of excitement.

I had attended many book signings over the last 5 years and there were very few that could be called exciting.

But, like the good sales woman I am, I forced a smile and continued.

"We're expecting a fair crowd. The media coverage has been great. We've had local radio and TV features so you shouldn't worry that nobody will turn up."

"It all sounds great. I just wanted to come down here seeing as how I was in the neighbourhood and make sure everything is set to go."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and forced yet another smile.

"I can assure you Lauren, everything will run smoothly."

She smiled at me.

"Let me print off your schedule again and we can go over it one more time," I said, switching my printer on.

"Oh that's great. My fiancé will drop me off in the morning and collect me when we're done so I'm all set." She beamed, obviously in the memory of her fiancé.

Eugh.

I could have gagged. Could this woman be any more of a sap?

I didn't believe in the whole marriage thing. In fact I didn't believe in the whole 'love' thing. Once spurned and all of that.

Love was just a chemical reaction in the brain. It could be solved by sex or chocolate. Simple as that. I didn't need a man to complete me.

The familiar gaping emptiness in my chest told me that my mind was straying to somewhere it shouldn't. So I pushed down on the emotions inside of me, as I had been doing for the last 6 years. Nothing could hurt me now. I cleared my throat and focussed my mind on making sure that nothing could possibly go wrong with tomorrow's book signing.

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**Review? :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Sorry it's been so long. However I'm home for Xmas now so there'll be plenty of time for me to write.**

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I stormed through the front doors of Borders with a ferocious scowl. So far this morning I had managed to oversleep, stub my toe in my hurry to get into the shower, and then spill coffee all over my favourite black jacket as I dashed out to my car.

It was shaping up to be a really shitty day.

As I rounded a high stand of books I was fucking steamrolled by young employee who was carrying a heavy box. As we collided, the box slid from her grasp and I watched in muted horror as it made its downward descent towards my shiny, new Jimy Choo's.

I groaned in pain as my toe, still sore from stubbing it on the shower door, was fucking crushed by some ridiculous autobiographies that only complete twats would read.

"Arrrrggggggggh!" I just fucking lost it. The girl was wide eyed and she started stammering apologies as I wrenched my shoe off to get a look at the damage.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I screeched, glaring daggers at her. Her face grew flushed and she bit her lip. She looked a bit like she was going to cry. Good.

"Little tip sweetheart," I hissed, acidicly. "Those tiny little flappers on your face…they're called eyes. Maybe you could start using them…instead of coating them in all of that shit that just makes you look like a complete slut!"

Her bottom lip trembled. _Success!_

I repressed a cruel chuckle, slid my tender toe back into my shoes and left the poor girl to pick herself, and her box, up off the floor. Part of me knew there was no need to be such a bitch, but at the same time I'd had very little sleep and a hangover from hell and therefore I couldn't be held responsible for my actions.

Last night had been…interesting. I'd frequented one of my usual haunts. Jay's is a small backalley club, downtown. I knew the manager (intimately) and he'd always been keen to invite me in for free whenever I was around.

I'd met some friends there and proceeded to do what I do every Friday evening…get fucking slaughtered. The good thing about Jay's as well, is that there are plenty of guys who are up for some meaningless fun.

I'd ended up having sex in a private back room on the coffee table amongst a group of people I didn't know ,who were either watching or having their own fun.

I wasn't usually so voyeuristic when it came to sex. Yeah, I wasn't fussy about who I screwed, but I never usually let people watch me getting fucked. But then, I thought of these things as experiences. And I was all about the experience.

"Elizabeth!"

I repressed an inward shudder as Lauren's voice cut through my mind.

I turned to see her being ushered towards me by none other than the girl who I'd terrified just moments ago. Poor girl could barely look at me.

"Im so glad you're here," Lauren whined. I grit my teeth and forced a tight smile.

"Well, that's my job," I replied. Which was of course a complete lie. The only reason that I was here was because Lauren Mallory had pleaded for me to be there. Stupid bitch couldn't even attend a book signing on her own.

Just then the store manager appeared, saving me from having to make idle chitchat. She was professional looking woman in her late 40's and she wasted no time in getting Lauren set up at a little table in the corner.

The decorations were exactly as I had requested and hopefully Lauren should attract a lot of custom over the next few hours.

;;;;;;;;;

It had just gone 4pm when James turned up, I saw him slide smoothly into the room, the collar of his gorgeous grey wool coat pulled up against the cold. He grinned when he saw me and I threw him a smirk in return.

He came over to stand beside me, our backs to the wall.

"I was sent by Flo to make sure everything's going ok," he whispered seductively in my ear as his hand slowly cupped my ass.

"Oh, I think everything's going fine now," I responded with a smirk, not looking at him.

"Hmmm, I think maybe I should inspect the stock? Perhaps in the back room." He said seriously. "I need to make sure that everything's all up to scratch."

I merely raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'd need your assistance of course."

I grinned.

"Of course."

He ushered me out towards the Border's stock room and I opened the door with the key combination that the store manager had given me. As the door swung shut he grabbed me roughly and slammed me against the wall before sucking slowly on my neck. I groaned and let my legs fall open to accommodate him. I could feel him hard against my stomach already.

"You don't know how much I've been wanting to fuck you all week." He whispered, trailing a hand up my stomach to cup my breast. I arched into it with a groan.

"So fucking do it already," I gasped.

Slowly he inched his hand down my body to the hem of my skirt before lifting it all, exposing my black lacy thong. He wasted no time in pushing the fabric aside and plunging two fingers inside of me.

We groaned in unison.

"You're so wet."

He rubbed my clit and I bucked my hips. Slowly he began to remove my panties and he flung them over his shoulder before dropping to his knees.

He placed kisses up my inner thigh before sticking his face right between my legs. I moaned like a whore and rocked my hips into him. His tongue slowly entered me and he pumped its tongue fucking me. I was trashing around by now, but when he used the flat, rough surface of his tongue to drag over my clit I exploded.

I had barely caught my breath before James had spun me around and plunged his cock into my dripping hole. Over and over he pounded into me as I groaned and pushed back against him.

The only sounds were of our skin slapping together and our heavy pants as we rocked together. I could feel my orgasm building and I bit my fist to stifle the cry as my muscles clenched around James' thick cock. My orgasm must have triggered his own as he exploded into me shortly after.

We stayed where were for a moment; me bent at the waist, one hand on the wall; James still buried to the hilt inside of me.

As we caught our breath James slid slowly out of me. He kissed the base of my neck as he zipped up his pants. I could feel his come slowly sliding down my inner thigh as I straightened. I sighed and fished around in my pocket for a tissue.

"I've got to get back," James said.

"Uh-huh," I replied running my hands through my tangled hair. "Get that report on my desk by 6pm though."

He just nodded and then he was gone. I grinned to myself, before going off to find my panties.

When I eventually exited the stock room I could see Lauren had finished, she was talking to a tall bronze haired man, who I assumed was her fiancé. His back was to me, but I could see their clasped hands. I repressed a scowl I wandered over to the happy couple.

Lauren grinned when she saw me and fucking jumped on me. I held myself rigid as she hugged me.

"Oh Lizzy! It was so wonderful!"

I cringed at the use of the nickname and smiled tightly.

"You're right I think everything went swimmingly."

"Oh, let me introduce you to my fiancé. Elizabeth Bennett, this is Edward Cullen."

My heart stuttered and I felt all the blood drain from my face. Slowly I raised my eyes to his face.

Intense green eyes stared back at me and my legs started to wobble. His face was exactly the same, if not older and more tired.

My breath was coming in short gasps as I fought to control the onslaught of emotions that were churning inside of me.

His eyes were wide and shocked as he gazed back at me.

"Um, are you ok?" Lauren's nasally voice cut me out of my reminiscing.

"Um…yeah, fine, sorry I've got to go," I took a deep breath and drew on all of the tricks I'd taught myself over the years about repression and confidence.

I smirked at both of them, hiding the fact that my heart was still racing. I turned to go.

"Bella?!" His voice was choked and confused.

I turned and stared at him coldly.

"I'm sorry, I think you've got the wrong person," I said in a monotone voice. "Miss Mallory, I'll be in touch." With that I stalked from the shop, all the while feeling his eyes boring into my spine.


	4. Chapter 4

**FLASHBACK**

_I couldn't believe that Edward Cullen had asked me out! I must have been dreaming or something cos stuff like this didn't happen to ugly, unsociable girls like me. _

_I wandered around for the rest of the day in a daze. All through the rest of my classes I could feel people staring at me, whispering behind their hands, but I paid them little mind. I was used to people sneering and talking about me. When the final bell rang I gathered up the rest of my stuff and headed out to my truck._

_I froze however when I saw the two people who I least expected leaning against the side of my old truck, chatting animatedly. Edward's sister Alice and her best friend Rosalie were the two most poplar girls in school. Guys flocked to them like the starving and every girl wanted to be associated with them. _

_I made myself walk towards them, expecting to have to ask them to move so I could go home. But as soon as they spotted me Alice smiled and waved at me. _

_I had one of those cliché moments where I wanted to turn and see who she was waving at. But instead I just frowned._

"_Hey, Bella!" Alice chirped as I reached them. She reached out and threw her arms around my neck._

_I tensed. I was seriously confused._

"_I'm Alice Cullen…and this is Rosalie Hale," she said, as though I didn't know who they were._

"_Um…hi?" I said, my eyes flickering nervously between them. Rosalie looked bored as she gazed back at me. Alice however was nearly vibrating with excitement._

"_So, I hear my brother asked you out Friday," Alice smirked._

_I flushed to my roots and opened the driver's door, throwing my bag and books onto the passenger seat._

"_Yeah…" I responded, not really knowing what else to say._

"_Well, Rose and I thought it'd be great to get to know you a bit…we thought we'd take you shopping, get you something nice for your date. What do you say?"_

_I was shocked. I'm sure my mouth was open as I gazed back at them dopily. I could see Rosalie scoff and shake her head. I shut my jaw with an audible click._

"_Um, yeah, ok then," I stuttered._

"_Great!" Alice grinned and hugged me again. "We'll pick you up before school and we'll go straight from here ok?"_

"_Um, sure…" I didn't bother to ask them if they knew where I lived. My father was Chief of police and therefore _everybody_ knew where our house was._

"_Bye Bella," Alice smiled and grabbed Rosalie's hand, before waltzing off towards her expensive looking car._

_I stood there stunned, staring into space. Had I been paying more attention I might have noticed the subtle high five between the two girls or the angry glares that were directed my way from across the lot._

…

_The next day, true to her word Alice picked me up before school. I feel uncomfortable and out of place in her shiny yellow sports car, dressed in my old fleece top, worn jeans and wellington boots. Compared to Rosalie's designer dress and heels and Alice's blouse and pants combo, I must have looked like a total freak. But neither of them commented, instead asking me about my night and generally just being…nice._

_School went by as normal, aside from the curious glances I kept getting all day. I ate alone in the library, opting to hide from all of the speculation. In my classes I kept my head down and concentrated on my work. I was so nervous about this shopping trip that my hands were shaking._

_When the bell rang I wandered from my last class out towards the parking lot. I spotted Alice's car immediately, but to my consternation it wasn't just Alice and Rosalie waiting by it. Edward, his brother Emmett and their friend Jasper (who also happened to be Alice's boyfriend) were stood with the two girls, laughing and chatting._

_I could feel my stomach plummet and I felt like I wanted to throw up. But I forced myself to walk over to them and not trip flat on my face._

_Edward was the first to see me. He nudged his brother Emmett on the arm as he saw me and grinned. They all stopped talking and turned to look at me. I felt like the prize monkey on display._

"_Hey Bella, you ready to shop?" Alice asked._

_I smiled timidly in return and nodded. _

_A loud booming laugh made me jump. _

"_She looks terrified!" Emmett chortled. "I'm not surprised. Shopping with you two, anyone would be scared!"_

_Everyone laughed except for Alice who glared at her brother in disdain. _

"_Well, take care of Bella. I need her on Friday," Edward winked at me before wandering off towards his car. Emmett and Jasper kissed their respective girlfriends and nodded to me before following after Edward._

"_Let's go, Bella," Alice chirped. Rosalie, as usual looked bored as she slid into the passenger seat of the expensive yellow car._

_When we got to the mall Alice and Rosalie made me try on what seemed like every item of clothing in every shop. Alice insisted on buying me multiple items, saying that my wardrobe needed an update. I had tried to protest but Alice wasn't having any of it._

_I was in Selfridges trying on a strappy black top- thing without much success, I was about to go call Alice to ask for some help when I heard them talking._

"…_should I? What…to me?"_

"_Just…nice…don't …win…"_

_I figured they must be busy so I simply folded the strappy black thing and quickly exited the changing room, walking over to them with a smile. Alice glared at Rosalie before turning to me with a smile._

_When I got home that night I had gained three new pairs of jeans in varying styles, a whole selection of T-shirts ranging from casual to semi-smart, four new blouses, six pairs of pants, two dresses and four skirts of varying length –some of which I was sure I couldn't pull off, but Alice had insisted I look fine. _

_As I unpacked my bags I found a wrapped package at the bottom. Curious I opened the tissue paper, only to flush to the roots of my hair. Inside were a few new bra and panty sets. Although, they were unlike anything I'd ever worn before. They were all black and lacy with cute little ribbons and bows._

_I was shocked, and kind of flustered, so I wrapped them back up and placed them at the back of my underwear drawer._

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